After 3 days of studying, i still feel that there's
so much more that i have no idea about.
This is very demoralising in a way.
I'm clueless about partial fractions, A.P, G.P,
sigma notations, VA, back titration, blah blah.
The list goes on and on. This so depressing.

My dad & brother used to take turns to tutor me.
But dad said A levels are beyond him.
So i can only pin my hopes on my smarty brother
who got 7-4 points for O's, made it to RJ and got 4 straight A's.
Dont ask me why aren't i as smart as him.
I wonder why too.
Definately inferiority kicks in, but such is life ain't it.

I hate it when i always have to study my ass off JUST
to score the same points as smart ones who dont
study as much as i do.
It just seems very unfair at times.
I'm really sick of studying.
How ironic really.
Previously i was just saying that i loved studying.
But at times, i really do want to go out and play.

I dont know if it's good/bad but because of such inferiority to
my siblings, i get more attention from my parents.
They definately spend more money on me.
My braces, high tuition fees(i had tuition for 4 subs last yr),
new contacts that i just made, car petrol(sending me to and fro from tuition).
I do feel blessed & thank God for such parents.

This is not an emo post, its just my reflections.